the perils of night time (and how to torture dogs)

So I woke up at about 4:20 am this morning and I had been plagued by nightmares of growling, teeth bearing skunks hiding behind my bar-b-q. It wasn't fun. Shawn wasn't up yet and I had this moment of panic that the dogs were going to be sprayed by a skunk AGAIN. I lept out of bed in a daze, not quite knowing what was going on. For the first time in over a month, I was sleeping with the window open, the air conditioner off and the night was cool enough to make the room comfortable with a slight breeze. The room was no longer smelling of skunk, and yet the a/c is blowing out skunky air, no matter how much I try to clean it. Good thing it was cool enough to leave it off.I stumbled to the bathroom, feeling flushed and slightly burnt, which was odd considering I wasn't out in the sun at all yesterday. When I left the bathroom I looked in the mirror to check my eye, because it was itchy. I was suddenly wide awake, my ENTIRE body was COVERED in red blotches. I honestly looked like I had the worst sun burn EVER, only it was everywhere, and it wasn't a sunburn. I turned around to try and see my back and took some deep breaths to calm myself down. I was having one major allergic reaction to something. By this time Shawn had come upstairs to come to bed and I whimpered from the bathroom "look at me! I am covered in... welts!!" (Yes, I sleep without a stitch on, ok? We don't need to dwell on that. Move along...) It was awful. The hives weren't small and bumpy, oh, no! I was swollen almost everywhere, it was easier to count the white patches of skin where they weren't. From my toes, to my belly, to my neck and wrists and the TOP OF MY HEAD. I was covered. And then the itching started (once I was fully awake and realized what was going on). My lower back was burning with itches and my wrists and behind my knees. I swallowed two Benedryl pills and hoped for the best. We came to the conclusion that I was reacting to the bleach that was used to wash the sheets I had JUST PUT ON THE BED. Normally I have no problems with a little Javex in the wash with the sheets, but the one I have now seems to be some sort of "unscented environmentally safe" crap that obviously my skin hates. Give me the toxic scented one any day!So there we were at 4:30 in the morning, changing the sheets on the bed. We really must stop being so spontaneously romantic in the wee hours of the morning, it's exhausting! Thank goodness I wasn't working today.And let's not forget that fact that I had already changed the sheets once last night, shall we? I don't think I have ever changed the sheets twice in less that 8 hours in my life.Today was spent sleeping in (damnit, my wee hour excitements are taking a toll on me!), reading while drinking some tea and then washing the dogs for what seemed like the billionith time. Poor Jinx must think he's being punished something good for something he did that he just can't figure out. Three baths in less than 24 hours! The horror! Annie was only on bath number two, since we didn't notice her skunkyness until later.Being the terrible, dog-torturer that I am, I had to take photos of course. Hee! I am sure that Jinx and Annie will soon be phoning the Humane Society or whoever and trying to get into foster care after the way we have been treating them. Imagine! Cleaning the dogs multiple times and then - gasp! - brushing them! Oh, the humanity! Oh, the horror! Never mind the fact they each got treats after every horrible treatment they received. Wash, wash. TREAT! Brush. TREAT! Wash. TREAT! Stay outside for an hour to dry off. TREAT! Oh, yes, we are horrible, awful people and should be hanged.And now, for photos of tortured dogs! Whee!